Tribulations

By the time they reached their eleventh birthdays, Zeke and Zack had made many dozens of short videos and they felt that the obvious next step for them was to create a situation comedy (sitcom for short) length video. They studied several televised sitcoms before taking on this project. At the conclusion of one such study session, Zeke said to Zack, "I believe that the average show is about twenty-three minutes long after you take out the commercials and stuff." So, the boys made a rough outline for a show that they estimated would be twenty-three minutes long. They included a one minute introduction and a one minute closing, which, obviously, left twenty-one minutes for the actual story.

The boys already had a little theme song for this video which they had used in a short video sketch they had made several months earlier. The song was called "Tribulations" and it contained the following lyrics:

	I got stuck by the needles of a cactus
	I got bitten by a viscious, nasty snake
	I was beat up by the wind and burnt by the sun
	I don't know how much more I can take

Zack was the star of this sitcom and Zeke had to play all the other parts. Zack played the part of a wandering cowboy and during the theme song he was shown walking through the desert, climbing over rocks, looking into a mine tunnel, resting in the shade of a creosote bush, walking through the door of a shack and other quick little sequences which were editted together to go with the ditty. The title of the show, "The Tribulations of Zack Muller," were the only words shown on the screen during the introduction sequence.

At the conclusion of the theme song, Zack was shown approaching a shack in the middle of the desert. On the porch of the shack sat Zeke wearing a black hat and dressed up to look as much like a cowboy as the boys could manage considering their limited resources. Zeke spoke first. "What brings you out to this desolate spot?"

"I'm trying to find my long lost donkey," said Zack wiping his brow.

"I haven't seen any donkeys out here," said Zeke and then he added, "But I do have a nice cold one waiting inside if you've got two bits to pay for it."

"I could use a nice cold drink right about now," said Zack.

Zeke got up and led the way into the shack. He took a bottle from a counter and put it on a table in the middle of the room. He filled a cup with the liquid and said, "That's two bits, mister."

Zack reached in his jacket and pulled out a six shooter and said, "Two bits of lead is all you'll get out of me!"

Zeke backed up against the counter and said, "Never mind. You look like a thirsty traveler who deserves a nice cool drink. This one's on the house."

"That's mighty kind of you," said Zack. Zack took a sip of the liquid and then spat it out. He said, "This stuff tastes horrible! What are you trying to do, poison me?"

Zeke said, "No. Honest. That's my best stuff."

"I ought to shoot you right here on the spot for trying to poison me, but I won't waste the lead on the likes of you," said Zack. Zack threw the contents of the cup on the floor and then turned and walked out the door, tossing the cup over his shoulder and behind him as he passed through the door.

Zeke sunk down and sat on the floor and showed his relief by saying "Phew, that was close."

Zack was next shown walking on a railroad track. He was shown walking for a few moments and then he stopped and looked out into the desert. An old, rusted car was shown. Someone was laying against the car and Zack walked over to see who it was. "What are you doing out here?" asked Zack as he approached the person.

"I'm busy dying of thirst," moaned Zeke. Zeke had his shirt off. He was barefoot and he had tattered shorts on.

"Have you seen any donkeys?" asked Zack.

"Yes I have," said Zeke with much effort.

"Where did they go?" asked Zack.

"I don't know, but one of them stepped on my water bottle and that's why I'm dying of thirst," said Zeke angrily despite his dry throat.

"Oh, I see," said Zack.

Zeke looked up at Zack and said, "Do you have any extra water?"

Zack padded himself down and said, "Nope. Sorry. I guess I'm plum out of water!"

Zeke looked disappointed.

"Well, good luck, I guess I'll be on my way," said Zack.

Zack got back on the railroad tracks and continued walking. After a bit he saw someone wearing a safari helmet bent over something by a creosote bush. Zack walked over to this person and asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm searching for a very rare insect. It is so rare that it doesn't have a common name. It is called Plethocaryus minirudithea by us scientists," said Zeke. He held a magnifying glass and he had on a khaki jacket and a white shirt.

"Wow! That sounds interesting," lied Zack.

"Oh it is. It is extremely fascinating as a matter of fact," said Zeke.

"While you were looking for bugs did you happen to see..." began Zack.

"Bugs? Bugs? The Plethocaryus minirudithea is not just a bug. It is an extremely rare insect. It is not a mere bug!" said Zeke in an indignant tone of voice.

"I'm sorry. What I meant to ask was whether or not you've seen any donkeys," said Zack.

Zeke stood up and looked at Zeke quizzically as if to say, "Why would anyone care about donkeys?" but said, "Hmmm. I do believe some walked by not too long ago."

"Really?" said Zack.

"Yes, really," said Zeke.

"Which way did they go?" asked Zack.

Zeke pointed along the railroad tracks.

"Thanks and good luck searching for bugs... I mean insects," said Zack.

In the next shot Zack was shown walking by a large boulder.

Zeke, at this point not seen on camera, called out, "Who goes there!" Zeke was sitting on top of a boulder. He was dressed in tattered blue jeans, he wore an unbuttoned shirt with little designs on it, a head band, and sun glasses. He was supposed to look like a hippy.

"I'm searching for my long lost donkey," said Zack.

"You will find your donkey that way," said Zeke pointing toward a large mountain.

"How do you know?" asked Zack.

"That's where the donkeys hang out around here," said Zeke.

"How do you know that my donkey is up there?" asked Zack.

"I know these things," said Zeke.

"Well, thanks for the advice, but I'm going this way," said Zack.

Suddenly the sound of a rattlesnake was heard and a close up of a rattlesnake was shown. The boys had captured the snake on video a couple of months earlier. It was sort of part of their personal library of stock footage.

"Wrong way," said Zeke.

"How'd you do that?" asked Zack.

"They work for me. Now follow my directions and you will find your donkey," said Zeke.

"Alright then," said Zack.

The next scene in the video showed Zack in the middle of some sand dunes. A quiet voice said, "Where are you going?"

Zack looked around and a bush blowing in the breeze was shown.

Zack heard the voice again. This time it said, "What are you doing in my dunes?"

Particles of sand being blown by the wind were shown.

"Who is that?" asked Zack.

"This is the wind and I want to know what you are doing," said the wind. Zeke supplied the voice for the wind. He used a vocal effect to give his voice a far off, whispy quality.

"I'm looking for my long, lost donkey," said Zack.

"You will find your donkey in the mountains. There are no donkeys around here," said Zeke.

"How do you know?" asked Zack.

"I am the wind. I know all," said Zeke.

Zack stopped walking, took a breath and looked over toward the mountains. He complained, "But the mountains are so rugged and steep. Are you sure that my donkey is over there?"

"I am sure," said Zeke.

"But my donkey is as lazy as me and I just know that he wouldn't hang out in the mountains," said Zack.

"Donkeys go where the water is and all the water around here is in the mountains," explained the wind.

"All right. All right. Then I'll go to the mountains," said Zack taking off and throwing down his hat.

"Wise decision," said the wind.

Zack leaned over and picked up his hat. As soon as he put it back on the wind blew it off. "Why'd you do that?" asked Zack.

"That was for being such a stubborn mule!" said Zeke. Then Zeke made a blowing sound into the microphone to give the impression that the wind was going somewhere.

Next Zack was shown walking up a steep mountain ridge. A voice in the distance called out, "Help! Help!" and Zack stopped to look around. Zack strained to see something in the distance and the camera showed a woman tied up against a post in front of a mine down in the valley below the ridge which Zack was walking on. Zack was then shown working his way down the ridge and after a bit he reached the woman.

"Oh, thank goodness, someone has come to my rescue," said the woman. Zeke played the part of the woman. He was dressed up in a wig and he wore a dress. Zack borrowed the wig from one of his aunts and he borrowed the dress from his sister.

"Who did this to you?" asked Zack.

"A very bad man," said Zeke.

"How long have you been here?" asked Zack.

"A very long time," said Zeke.

Zack finished untying the damsel in distress and Zeke said, "I don't know how to thank you."

"Me neither," said Zack.

"How about a kiss?" asked Zeke.

"No thanks," said Zack.

"Well, if the bad man hadn't of stolen my purse I would give you a cash reward, but he took everything I have," said Zeke.

Zack nodded and then asked, "You wouldn't have happened to have seen a donkey pass by this way?"

"A whole herd walked up this canyon just about an hour or so ago," said Zeke.

"Wonderful," said Zack. He started walking up the canyon.

"You're not just going to leave me here are you?" asked Zeke patting his wig as if he were trying to look cute.

"Sorry, ma'am. But I've got to find my donkey," said Zack.

Zeke said, "Well I never," as if he were offended.

Zack walked up the wash in the middle of the canyon. After a bit he came across a small campfire. He noticed a purse near it and a bed roll just a few feet away from that. A moment later an unseen voice said, "Looking for something mister?"

Zack looked toward a rock and saw Zeke stand up. Zeke was dressed up in a poncho. He had on a fake mustache and a black hat. He held a pistol and motioned with it for Zack to raise his hands.

Zack raised his hands and said, "What are you doing with a purse?"

"It's my girlfriend's purse. She asked me to hold it for her," said Zeke.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" asked Zack.

"No... I mean yes," said Zeke changing his mind as he spoke. At first he looked down as if he were disappointed as he said no, but then he looked up hopefully when he changed his answer.

"You are dispicable," said Zack.

"Is that good or bad?" asked Zeke.

"Bad. Very bad," said Zack.

"Oh, good, because I am a bad man," said Zeke.

"A bad man who goes around stealing ladys' purses," said Zack.

"And a few other things too," said Zeke wiggling his pistol at Zack.

"What are you going to do, kill me?" asked Zack.

"That all depends. See my bag over there? Open it and get out my deck of cards. I will let the cards decide," said Zeke.

Zack retrieved the deck of cards and held it up. "What do you want me to do with it?" asked Zack.

"Draw a card and hold it up," said Zeke.

Zack did as he was told.

"You're lucky this time. The six of hearts says that I let you walk, but if I see you around here again, I'll shoot you," said Zeke.

Zack put the cards down and turned to walk up the wash.

"Wait! What are you doing out in these parts anyways?" asked Zeke.

"I'm just looking for my donkey," said Zack.

A whole bunch of them passed through here not too long ago," said Zeke.

"Thanks," said Zack.

"Don't mention it," said Zeke.

Zack continued to walk up the wash. He continued to walk until it was getting dark. Then up ahead in the distance, he saw some donkeys. He called out, "Clementine! Clementine! Come back to me Clementine!" He ran in the direction of the donkeys and a moment later they disappeared over a ridge. The donkey clip came from their archives. The boys had gotten that one a few months earlier.

"No! Don't go!" called out Zack.

The closing theme began and the credits rolled as Zack bowed his head in disappointment. The camera panned out for a view of the valley and after about another forty-five seconds the video was over. The closing theme was another short ditty. It was simple, but it served its purpose reasonably well. The word went like this:

	Donkey, Donkey, Why do you run away?
	Donkey, Donkey, Come back to me to stay.

	I promise I'll treat you well
	I'll feed you every day
	I'll never ever yell at you
	I have no mean words to say

It took the boys about five weeks to film and edit this project. When they finally reached a point where they were done, Zack said, "That was a real pain in the neck to make."

"No kidding. I'm amazed we actually finished it," said Zeke.

"Me too," said Zack.

"I was thinking that we should make a whole series of 'Tribulations' videos, but now I'm not so sure," said Zeke.

"I think we should just go back to making short videos," said Zack.

"Yeah, I think you're right. It's kind of hard to keep track of all the scenes," said Zeke.

"And just think if we did a full length movie," suggested Zack.

"No way. That's at least an hour and twenty minutes. I don't even want to think about that!" said Zeke.

It was only a few days later, however, that Zack and Zeke decided to make their first full length video. Zack would play the part of a bandit on the run and Zeke would play all the other parts. They didn't have a name for this project, but they did have a lot of ideas.

"I could hold up a bank and I could hide out up in the mountains," said Zack.

"Where would we have be the bank?" asked Zeke.

"I don't know, but we can think of something," said Zack.

"Like where?" asked Zeke.

"There's a ticket booth at the school that looks pretty old and we could put a sign that says 'Bank' over it," said Zack.

"Yeah, maybe," agreed Zeke not entirely sure that this would do.

"And I could use the shack in the desert as a hide out," said Zack.

"No, I think the shack should be for a miner and that you should live under some rocks in the mountains," said Zeke.

Zack thought a moment and said, "I know where you're talking about. That would be good, but that's kind of a long hike!"

"Yeah, but it would be the perfect location," said Zeke.

"Too bad we can't just camp up there for a few days," said Zack.

"Our parents would never let us do that," said Zeke.

"We could have a scene where I have a gun fight with a bounty hunter or something," said Zack.

"Yeah, and I'll be the bounty hunter," said Zeke.

"And I'll shoot you dead," said Zack.

"Why do I always have to die?" asked Zeke.

"Because I'm the star of the movie," said Zack. Then he added, "Besides you always come back to life as another character anyways."

"True," said Zeke with a chuckle.

"Probably we should have you be a preacher in the movie too," said Zack.

"Yeah, I could try to talk you into turning yourself into the law since it would be the right thing to do," said Zeke.

"Yeah, and I could shoot you right between the eyes for trying to trick me like that," said Zack.

"And then I could be a miner who thinks that you're trying to steal my claim," said Zeke.

"And I could shoot you when you try to kill me with a pick," said Zack.

"Or I could have a stick of dynamite," said Zeke.

"Or we could decide to be friends," said Zack.

"Yeah, I could decide that I need more help digging my mine," said Zeke.

"And I could decide that being a miner would be a good way of hiding out since no one would expect me to be a miner," said Zack.

"But then that would get boring," said Zeke.

"And so we could have you die in a mining accident," said Zack.

"Yeah, what a great idea," said Zeke with some uncertainty still bothered by the way his characters always wound up dying.

"That's just one of the many tribulations of making videos," said Zack sort of reading Zeke's mind.

"I guess so," said Zeke nodding his head reluctantly.